i need someone to cuddle with holy shit
Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.
Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.
But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.
And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.
We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.
We never know when the bus is coming."
I want you to fall in love in the right way. I don’t want you to be looking for love on the lips of intoxicated strangers, and in the mouth of someone who has been lonely for too long. I want to lose you to someone who is going to be worth your patience, and not just someone who is looking for a way to pass the time by.
Your body is an hourglass that I never want to see run-out of moments. Your body is proof that some things are never meant to make sense. I look at your skin and I can see your autobiography written in scars and in burns on the most sensitive limbs of your body.
When I lose you, I hope I lose you to someone who is able to understand the difference between sympathy and sincerity. I hope that they learn that just because you say sorry doesn’t mean that things will go back to normal, or that things will somehow fix themselves. I hope that when I lose you to someone else they will never have to make you question whether or not their love for you is true.
You are better than the waiting game. You are better than clocks. Better than 3 a.m. drunk text messages with no reply, and even better than the taste of regret on your tongue at 1 p.m. in the afternoon. You shouldn’t have gotten drunk last night in a bar surrounded by strangers who only want pieces of you that you will never miss. You need to know that you are better than that. You need to know that one-night stands only last for a few hours, and that by the morning you will feel lonely all-over again. You are better than that, than this.
I hope that when I lose you, it’s to someone who can look at your scars and see progress. I want to lose you to someone that is able to make a map by using the creases in your skin, and who only wants to travel to the foreign parts of your body. I want to lose you to someone like this because I want to know that when you leave my arms, you will retreat into someone else’s who is able patch up the pain without even using their hands."
1. Always carry $5 and a lighter with you (even if you don’t smoke).
2. Ask every person you meet how their day is going. Genuinely ask with the soul intention of learning how their day is. Ask the coffee shop employee. Ask the person next to you in line at Walmart. Ask your distant friend. Ask everyone.
3. Take many photos of yourself. Take photos of yourself when you’re happy. Take photos of yourself when you’re sad. Take photos of yourself because there are millions of trees in the world, and we all look at the same sky, but there is only one of you.
4. Stay in contact with your parents. Try not to hate them. They are the reason you have the ability to feel anything at all. Try not to hate your parents.
5. Opening your skin will not set your demons free. Open your heart. Open your mind. Open your hands.
6. Nobody knows anybody completely. That’s okay.
7. Be gentle, but be aggressive. Take a stand. Nobody hears your voice if you stay silent.
8. Respect everybody. We are all humans trying to survive. We all deserve respect.
9. Wearing black will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself.
10. Always give tips, whether it be a couple extra dollars or a piece of mind. You never know how much you could be helping someone.
11. Change is the only thing consistent in life. Do not allow that bother you. Embrace chance and move with life, whichever direction it chooses to take you.
12. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Smile at your friends. Smile when nobody is looking and you’re alone in your bedroom. Smile when somebody is rambling to you.
13. Body image means nothing. Your body is merely just a seatbelt in the car. Your body is here to protect you. You choose the direction you go, and your body will not hold you back. Only you can hold yourself back.
14. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t allow yourself to hate anybody. Forgive them. Learn to love them for the person you never got to see them to be. Believe that a beautiful human exists in that person. Wish them well.
15. Drink orange juice. Lot’s of it.
16. Don’t allow the opinions of others to choose your destiny. We are all simply trying to live our own life.
17. Sing all the time. Sing off key. Sing in a silly voice. Sing like you’re on stage. Sing no matter who is around. Singing is breathing for the soul. Sing.
18. Take time to think. Write your feelings down. Write letters to the people you love. Texting is overrated and not as heartfelt as a nice handwritten letter.
19. Live for yourself. Breathe for yourself. Do everything in your life for nobody but you. This is your life. This is it."